Father’s Day “On the Day”
As we approach our national Father’s Day, June 20th, let’s talk about ways couples can create meaningful roles for the men in their lives on their wedding day.
Father of the Bride: I recently officiated a wedding and was reminded how special it is for the Father of the Bride. He has a place of honor and an important role as he escorts his little girl down the aisle. I had to tell myself to “keep it together” as the father of the bride (who was cool as a cucumber at the rehearsal the night before) was overcome with emotion in the moment! It was a beautiful sentiment to see him kiss his daughter then put her hand into the hand of her soon-to-be husband. The ritual that once was a transactional transfer of “property” has been reinvented today - transformed to an act of gratitude for the years of love and support given by the Father of the Bride.
Father of the Groom: At the same recent wedding, the Father of the Groom walked his son down the aisle. While the Father of the Groom has traditionally a more limited role than the Father of the Bride, modern couples are finding ways to expand this role. Another meaningful moment to consider is to assign the Father of the Groom other responsibilities such as pinning the boutonniere on all the men in the wedding party - makes for great photos!
Step-Dad/ Bonus Dad: I don’t know too many families where there isn’t a blend today. I’ve seen a few variations of how to include a step-dad/ bonus dad to acknowledge his role in either the bride or the groom’s life. The level of involvement in the ceremony depends on the length and depth of the relationship. One example is to have both men walk the bride down the aisle. Another is to have the biological dad walk the bride to a certain point, then the bonus dad to another point - giving both a symbolic gesture of appreciation for their role in the bride’s life.
Mentor Dad/ Godfather: Find a way to say thank you by including a mentor dad or Godfather. Consider including more than just the groom for a “First Look” - photographers and videographers often say that capturing a whole group responding takes the pressure off the groom and creates a new shared memory with the most cherished people.
Grandfather: I LOVE the trend of Flower Grannies in addition or in leu of Flower Girls - seriously …look it up on YouTube. Consider having a grandpa be the Ring Bearer. If grandpa is unable to attend, assign someone at the ceremony and someone with grandpa to join virtually, so he doesn’t miss the moment. At one wedding I learned about, a voice recording of a beloved grandpa who had passed away saying, “I pronounce you husband and wife” was played to honor his memory - how beautiful to include a loved one in part of the officiating script!
